A Few Recommendations From A Wicked Ranked Player (Wicked btw) (Please Read) (1100+ words btw)

SkookS

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I have a few concerns about the integrity of the servers and the times associated with them. For starters I would like to have a few new rules in place to help protect the players and the server itself. I have countless hours on this server and would hate to see those hours lost due to preventable issues as stated in this post. Please read this with an open mind and realize that these changes would help the servers for the better. I cannot stress enough how much this server means to me and my family (millionaires btw).

1. Mandatory COVID testing of all players.
- This is very important as I, as well as no one else, wants to get COVID while on the server. I believe that if the server itself got COVID then it could be detrimental and pernicious to the quality of the servers. The plague would be through the roof and number of deaths both in game and IRL would be on sneaks and the admins hands. This NEEDS to be addressed as the safety of the players (surfers) should be of the utmost concern. If we cannot play on the server safely then people will die and I will not stand for that.

2. Banning of performance enhancing drugs (adderall, vyvanse, meth, cocaine, G-FUEL... etc)
- This should go without saying. The number of cracked 12 year old's with a seemingly unlimited supply of performance enhancing drugs (PEDs) has seen a massive increase in the last few months. When is it going to be regulated? I suggest mandatory drug testing every month (at sneaks expense) to help and removal of times from people caught using PEDs. This levels the playing field and allows for more competition in server records (SRs). This would boost player moral and would overall lead to less toxicity on all of the servers based on research done in 2014 at Cambridge University (which i attended).

3. Allowing superboosted and lagged times
-This one is probably the most controversial rule changes suggested in this proposal. I think people tend to think of this as a one sided argument and I am here to prove otherwise. The speed obtained from a superboost (SB) can range anywhere from 1000 units all the way to 5000 units. This amount of speed (measured in units) is extremely hard to control and can further lead to more competition (as stated above) from even the worst players. Overall this would be a healthy addition to the server and would lead to very fast and very fun (objectively) runs on your favorite maps.

4. Allow an unlimited amount of people in the server at one time
- I can NOT stress enough, how many times I have tried to log onto the top 100 server to kick it with the boys and it was completely full. I have heard that it happens sometimes on the easy server as well but I wouldn't know (Wicked BTW). Allowing unlimited people in all of the servers would remove this trouble and allow for more discussion of ideas and rhetoric pertaining to solving the world's climate and hunger issues. Allowing unlimited players would also lead to an increase in health consciences as the number of healthy and fit people would drive the less fit people to be like their peers.

5. Banning all E-girls that talk on the microphone (mic)
- E-girls in the server creates a unbalanced dynamic between alpha males ("chads") and the white knights (simps) and causes unnecessary drama and is quite pernicious to the integrity of the game. For example, I, like many of you, have been on a god like run (think streets 1:12 level) only to have my eager attention blighted by an E-girl going on about god knows what over the mic. This type of rhetoric promotes whiteknightism™ as horny 13 year olds will use this opportunity to try and obtain said E-girls' snapchat (snap) or onlyfans link. This type of behavior directly correlates to an increase in "simps" that take up the valuable slots in the server (see suggestion 4 above for possible solution). The last thing this sever needs is more people who are on only to talk about this disgusting act and further promotes toxicity between the players.

6. Top 25 players (surfers) should get mod status
- being top 25 is the dream of most players (surfers, KZers, 1v1ers) and should be rewarded with some perks. The amount of time and skill required alone is well deserved of at LEAST mod status. Some of these players spend thousands if not millions of hours grinding to get the prestige of being top 25 in the most competitive servers in all of CSGO. The fact that this is not a thing is just insulting to the players who have grinded and set aside their lives to obtain such a distinguished achievement.

7. The server should actively search for sponsors
- The fact that the servers don't have sponsors makes no sense. In an effort to boost revenue the servers should play an unskipable 63 minute ad. This would not only provide a sizable cash flow to the server but also would allow sneak to pay his top 25 ranked players for the effort they have put in to make the server a better place for walks of life. This would also allow for sneak to pay for dedicated team who's sole purpose is to find E-girls and ban them form the server (see suggestion 5 above).

To end this off I would like to address some concerns you may have.

Q. Who is this goron_elder_skooks kid and what does he know?
A. I am the sneaks knife giveaway winner (huntsman sapphire btw), world renowned Wicked surfer, and sneaks 5v5 tournament winner

Q. How does this guy know so much?
A. I have a registered IQ of 148 (Mensa certified) and currently work on passion projects as well as a lead researcher at a little company you may have head of called Tesla (yeah my dad started the company what of it?)

Q. Why is this goron_elder_skooks kid so passionate about a surf server?
A. My passions derive from the idealistic tendency to help those around me and my massive hog of a dick.

Q. Is goron_elder_skooks (Wicked btw) sexist towards E-girls (women)?
A. No.

Q. What can I do to help spread this message?
A. Send this to everyone you know, your friends, your family, your ex's, and even your neighbors and teachers. The more people that we can get behind our gracious cause the better

If you have any questions at all please feel free to reach out to me :)

thanks
goron_elder_skooks (Wicked btw)
 
Last edited:

retord sorfer

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+1 the concern and dedication of this man to his community is admirable pay him more than all other staff
 

aloh

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+10k
community has been saying this for 9 years... time to address this sneak. the ball is in ur court
-:D
 

Mandii

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How bored where you to put in this much effort to write this...smh +1000000!
 

Nish

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bro is that the real goron elder skooks who won the sneaks knife giveaway? (Huntsman sapphire btw)

+7
 

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